How to communicate with and coach the relator personality type

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What is a Relator Personality Type?

Devoted, consistent, dependable, and loyal, the Relator personality is a hard worker and will persevere long after others have given up.

There are a number of different ways to describe this personality type; sometimes they’re referred to as the ‘Steady’ personality (in DISC profiling), or they’re also often referred to as the ‘Amiable’ personality.

Not sure if this is you, or someone in your team?

What the relator personality traits have in common is that they’re seen as; a team player, cooperative and easy to get along with, trustful, sensitive and a good listener.

The Relator’s pleasure is stability and cooperation. Their pain is change and chaos.In a work environment this means that they can often struggle with making quick decisions or adapting to new situations (for example, working in a start-up environment).

The steady/relator DISC personality type is the most calm, flat-type personality of all four (the Driver, Analytical, Relator and Expressive personality types).

Relator types often outwardly appear quite laid-back which means they can be hard to excite. They seem to constantly be relaxed and desire a peaceful working or living environment over anything else. This can often work against them in a professional setting because they’ll go out of their way not to upset people. In fact, their indifference can often upset the people they are trying to appease.

Because they’re so ‘laid-back’ it often means, when making decisions they’ll wait until the last minute to decide and will often go with what everyone else is doing because it’s the path-of-least-resistance. This speaks to the fact that they’re emotionally driven individuals that just want harmony.Working in groups with cooperative individuals, the relator tries to avoid confrontation.

They enjoy company, perform best in a stable environment, and one of the relator personality strengths is that they often have a stabilising effect on others, particularly Expressive Personality types.

Relator personality weaknesses include indecision and an inability to take risks.They are often too focused on others, conforming, quiet, and passive. They often won’t speak up for themselves, are too compliant and nice, and often painstakingly slow to make decisions.

How to deal with a Relator personality types in a coaching environment

If you’re looking to upskill, mentor, or just check in with a relator personality type, there are a few considerations to make to your communication style to help get the most out of your coaching interaction.

When communicating with a Relator personality follow these seven coaching cues:

Be relaxed and agreeable

Relator personalities shy away from conflict, so approach with caution, stay balanced and match their energy.

Maintain the status quo

We know that these personalities struggle with change so, where possible, maintain the status quo. Introduce new ideas/techniques/expectations slowly.

Be logical and systematic

Keeping things factual helps to keep your expectations clear. This is important because the Relator Personality want’s a harmonious working environment, so the need to understand what’s expected of them.

Create a plan with written guidelines

There’s a lot to be said for putting something down on paper, and this is particularly true when it comes to this personality type. Having a clear, documented plan takes all of the uncertainty out of their work.

Be prepared to answer “why” questions

Given that these types of people are looking to maintain a harmonious working environment, they’ll often seek clarification when being asked to do something, so be prepared to answer “why” questions.

Agree clearly and often

This doesn’t mean you need to agree with everything… particularly if you’re looking to correct a behaviour but look for the things you can agree with in your session and make it obvious that this is what you’re doing.

Use the word “we”

Relator personality types love collaboration when they’re in a stable working environment, so using “we” terms will help them feel less alienated in a coaching session.

In Summary

When coaching or communicating with a Relator personality:

  • Be relaxed and agreeable
  • Maintain the status quo
  • Be logical and systematic
  • Create a plan with written guidelines
  • Be prepared to answer “why” questions
  • Agree clearly and often
  • Use the word “we”
  • Compliment him or her as a team player
  • Be a good listener

Check out the other personality types!

...or take our quiz to discover your own style!

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