Picture this: your weekly one-on-one meeting is with an AI coach. It pulls up your performance dashboard, shows you’re behind target, and assigns a module. On paper, it’s accurate, efficient, and logical.
Now, imagine instead a human coach. They see more than the numbers. They notice your flat tone, your slumped shoulders, that you’re distracted. They pause and ask, “Something on your mind?”
Those cues—the posture, the tone, the hesitation—aren’t data points in a dashboard. They’re signals of what’s happening inside a person. That’s the power of human connection in leadership. And it’s why emotional intelligence—being attuned enough to notice and respond to those signals—isn’t optional. It’s essential.
AI can crunch metrics, spot patterns, and suggest resources. It might even be able to recognise body language or negative sentiment through recording, but it can’t truly feel what’s behind the data. It can’t build trust in quite the same way.
That’s the reason EQ remains a fundamental leadership skill. And it’s also why tools (like our RedSeed 1:1) should support, not replace, the human conversation.
From our earliest days, survival has depended on relationships. We are inherently social beings. Neuroscience shows our brains are literally wired for connection. When we experience trust, empathy, or closeness, the hormone oxytocin—often called the “bonding hormone”—is released. Research by Dr. Paul Zak shows oxytocin strengthens cooperation, empathy, and trust, creating the foundation for meaningful relationships.
Other systems in the brain and body reinforce this wiring. Mirror neurons, first discovered by Giacomo Rizzolatti and his team, help us to “mirror” the emotions and actions of others, enabling empathy and shared understanding. The vagus nerve, extensively studied by Stephen Porges through his Polyvagal Theory, calms the body when we feel safe and supported. This helps reduce stress and build resilience in social settings.
This science confirms what we already know intuitively: when leaders show genuine empathy—through a kind word, a nod of understanding, or a supportive pause—they trigger the release of oxytocin. The result? Higher trust, lower stress, and stronger collaboration.
By contrast, when interactions feel cold or transactional, the body releases cortisol, the stress hormone. Cortisol narrows thinking, fuels defensiveness, and blocks creativity.
The equation is simple: leaders with EQ spark oxytocin, building trust and innovation. Leaders who lead like machines trigger cortisol, building compliance and fear.
Daniel Goleman, who popularised the concept, defines EQ as the ability to recognise, understand, and manage our own emotions—while also recognising, understanding, and influencing the emotions of others. This definition lies at the heart of leadership because leadership is, first and foremost, a human endeavor.
Emotional intelligence is what allows leaders to build authentic human connections. It’s the skill that helps us listen deeply, respond with empathy, and create an environment where people feel valued and safe to contribute. Connection doesn’t happen through strategy documents or task lists—it happens through presence, trust, and care.
When leaders practise EQ, they make space for authenticity. They notice not just the words people say but the feelings behind them. They balance honesty with empathy, repair relationships when trust is broken, and create cultures where people can thrive. That’s the soil where belonging, creativity, and resilience grow.
Technology can assist leaders by providing data or surfacing patterns we might miss, but it cannot replace human connection. Only people can bring the history, vulnerability, and moral responsibility that genuine relationships require.
If we want workplaces built on trust and long-term growth, leaders must set the tone for this. By showing empathy, listening deeply, and building trust, leaders tap into our hardwired need for connection. When they do this, they create the conditions for belonging, creativity, and resilience to thrive. Emotional intelligence is the skillset that makes this possible.
AI is powerful. In fact, 71% of organisations are already using AI to identify learning and development needs. In one-on-one coaching, AI can:
It’s true that many modern AI systems have been trained to mimic emotional intelligence. They can track people’s facial expressions, tone of voice, pauses, and posture, and use those signals to make assumptions about someone’s emotional state. This can be useful, as it can highlight things a human might overlook and suggest helpful follow-ups.
But the reality is that recognising a signal is not the same as being present in a relationship. AI may detect a flat tone, but it cannot choose to pause, lean in, and say, “I can see you’re not yourself today—are you okay? Do you want to talk?” It cannot share its own vulnerability, draw on lived experience, or build the trust that comes from years of genuine human connection.
When conversations are reduced to algorithms, something fundamental is lost: the mutual understanding that can only come from human-to-human interaction. And we must ask ourselves—is this the world we want to live in? A world where empathy is simulated rather than felt? Where coaching is efficient but emotionally hollow?
Or do we want workplaces where leaders show up, listen, genuinely feel, and respond as human beings—where connection, not just compliance, is the currency?
The evidence is clear:
AI can spot emotional signals, but it can’t create the same neurochemical trust that happens between two people. Real connection needs presence, vulnerability, and give-and-take—and only humans can do that.
If valuing emotional intelligence and connection feels like a “nice-to-have,” the evidence says it’s anything but:
High EQ and human connection costs time, but it delivers trust, loyalty, resilience, culture, creativity—all of which drive long-term results.
When leaders rely too heavily on technology, they risk creating workplaces where people are treated as numbers rather than human beings. Disconnection at work doesn’t just harm wellbeing—it undermines performance.
And disconnected teams don’t perform better. They perform worse. Gallup’s research on employee engagement consistently shows that when people feel cared for by their manager, they are more engaged, more productive, and less likely to leave their job. Leaders who neglect human connection in favour of dashboards may save time in the short term, but they ultimately pay for it in burnout, turnover, and lost potential.
So the question remains: is this the world we want to build? One where efficiency wins the race, but humanity loses at the finish line?
The good news is that EQ can be learned, practiced, and strengthened. Leaders don’t need to be naturally gifted at this—they just need to be intentional. Here are five ways to keep human connection at work at the centre of leadership:
As AI advances, the temptation to automate more parts of leadership will grow. That makes it even more critical for leaders to double down on the one thing technology can’t replicate: being human.
Leadership isn’t about choosing between AI and EQ. It’s about using AI as a tool while fiercely protecting the human conversation. Leaders are the guardians of connection in their teams. If they hand that role over to machines, the cost will be more than disengagement—it will be the erosion of what makes us human at work.
The challenge is clear: lead with data, but never lose sight of the dialogue.
AI can tell us what is happening. Emotional intelligence helps us uncover why. But it’s the human connection in leadership that creates the conditions for change.
As you step into your next one-on-one, remember: the most important thing you can give isn’t feedback, targets, or even solutions. It’s your presence. It’s your empathy. It’s your humanity.
Because at the end of the day, people don’t just want to be managed. They want to be understood. They want to belong. They want to know their leader sees them—not as a number, but as a person.
And no algorithm in the world can replace that.
Because EQ enables leaders to understand and respond to their team’s emotions, build trust, and create stronger human connection at work.
No. AI can provide data and insights, but it cannot replicate the empathy, vulnerability, and trust that come from human-to-human interaction.
Through practice: pausing before reacting, asking open questions, listening beyond words, seeking feedback, and modelling vulnerability.
Karen Gowans
You can search the RedSeed website by entering search terms below.
