It’s a cold Christchurch Friday night, and my husband and I are huddled on the sidelines of our 13-year-old’s football game. This team has been together for two years now, playing in a competitive development division. We’ve seen them experience it all — thrilling wins, hard-fought draws, and tough losses. Tonight, though, the energy is missing. The boys look flat, and tired, which is not surprising as it's the end of a school term, end of a long week, end of the day. Their passes lack spark, communication is absent, and they seem to be simply going through the motions.
By halftime, they’re 2-0 down. Honestly, it could have been worse. As I chat with another football mum, she points out something surprising: the coach hasn’t gone into the changing rooms. He’s told the boys to figure it out for themselves. At first, I think that’s bold. After all, it’s easy to rush in and tell them what’s going wrong. But this? This is different. This is trust. This is responsibility placed squarely on their shoulders.
And then the second half begins.
From the first whistle, something has shifted. Suddenly there’s urgency, intention, and teamwork. The boys are calling to each other — push up, spread wide, play strong! Within 10 minutes, they’ve scored. Twenty minutes later, they’ve equalised. They hold possession and play with spirit, fighting for each ball and playing as a team. I’d love to say they end up with a showstopping win, but the reality is they lose by 1 point with the final score 3-2, but that’s not the real story here. The real win is that these boys owned the turnaround. They created and executed their own strategy, and they proved they could fight their way back.
For me, this is the essence of great coaching.
It’s tempting, when your team is underperforming, to jump in with answers. To fix, direct, and control. But great coaches know that doing so robs people of their initiative and creativity. By stepping back, the coach gave these boys the space to problem-solve, to innovate, and to take ownership. The transformation was theirs, not handed down from above.
Great coaching doesn’t mean walking away entirely. It means creating an environment where the team is invested in the outcome. It means ensuring strategies are S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound). It means providing support, resources, and encouragement while allowing room for experimentation. Sometimes, that leads to surprising solutions you might never have thought of yourself.
Of course, giving teams freedom means they might fail. But failure, in this context, is not a defeat. It’s a lesson. Every setback reveals something new, a barrier to overcome, and a stepping stone toward future success. When the boys regrouped and found their way back into the match, they proved that resilience and creativity are learned by doing, not by being told.
To all the coaches out there — whether you’re on the sports field or leading a workplace team — remember this: don’t stifle your team’s creativity or initiative. Give them the space to fly. Support them, challenge them, and let them surprise you. Sometimes they’ll fail, sometimes they’ll succeed spectacularly, but either way, they’ll grow. And in the long run, that’s the real win.
Olivia Waddell
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